How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
