He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
