if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
