Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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