We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You pole danced in your parka.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
