This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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