just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
