Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
