Soap is not a condiment
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
