no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
