so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
