ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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