i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize