What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
