please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize