Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
