I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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