I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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