her vagine was all disorganized.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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