Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
