This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
