and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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