He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
