this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
