He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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