used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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