It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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