I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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