Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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