Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
