Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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