HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
