I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
