Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
