I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
