Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
