we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
