Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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