I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Operation Purity has been aborted
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
