yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
