porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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