hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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