we have pet lesbian snakes
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Did I show you my penis last night?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I am one with the molecules
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
