I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
...so i touched it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
why do cheetos always look like penises
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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