"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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