i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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