So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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