I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
no you cant smoke seaweed
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
