that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
