Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
