are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
