you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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