how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
