On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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