i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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