it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
