I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
