i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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