Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
