His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
