I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
