3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
