So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor