What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dating After Heartbreak
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF