yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list